Have you ever disclosed too much information about yourself or someone else? Or maybe sometimes, you just keep talking like a vehicle without brakes? This sometimes happens when one is nervous or anxious.
At other times, it could be a discomfort with silence that makes us assume the responsibility of keeping the conversation going at our own expense. Sometimes, it could be a lack of social skills. Whatever the reason, the shame we feel when we relive moments like this is profound.
Oversharing means telling too much about yourself in inappropriate settings, to the wrong person or set of people. For instance, it’s not oversharing if you tell your therapist your deepest thoughts and share personal information with them—you both are bound by privacy and confidentiality agreements.
It is oversharing if you post your deepest vulnerabilities on social media, or if you share with work colleagues over lunch the physical intimacy issues between you and your partner. Revealing too much personal information might not only make others uncomfortable, but it gives the wrong people an opportunity to take advantage of and exploit you.
ADHD and oversharing
While oversharing might not be a regular occurrence for some, for people with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), this might be a frequent problem. Oversharing isn’t always a function of lack of boundaries, but a function of impulsivity which is a symptom of ADHD. Impulsivity is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as “hasty acts that occur in the moment without thought”.
There are three main types of ADHD and one of them is predominantly hyperactive/impulsive presentation. Research has shown that adult ADHD symptoms are quite different from that of children, with hyperactivity not being as prominent with adults as it is with children; however, impulsiveness, restlessness, and difficulty paying attention may continue with adults.
For people with ADHD, some techniques that could help with excessive talking which could lead to oversharing are:
- Try not to interrupt people while they are speaking
- Practice listening to what people are saying, you don’t have to take up the entire space in conversations, and it’s not on you to keep the conversation going
- Practice pausing for a second or two, or taking deep breathes before speaking
Health care professionals’ advice that one of the most effective ways to manage symptoms like impulsivity and hyperactivity is to take ADHD medications. It might be best to reach out to your health professional and seek advice.
